Leaving

is always the hardest part. Today was my last day with the students of Prakashdeep and it was one of the most difficult things I have gone through in India so far. It was hard to explain to the students that I would not be coming back tomorrow morning. They each thanked me for teaching them photography, but more so for the photo albums that they were able to keep. They each bring their photos with them everyday to class and I’ve found a few of them looking at them during the day. Today Raju came up to me with his book and said, “Thanks for this”. My heart melted and I almost broke down right there. I knew I would have a hard time separating from the students I came to know, but I never expected to feel so connected to them. I’ve been told secrets and shared in some of their amazing accomplishments. How do I leave this? I’ve accepted that this is something that I will continue to struggle through, but at the same time I have to remind myself of the impact I have left on their lives as well. It is my biggest hope that one day I will return and see all my beautiful photography students grown, happy and beating the odds. I believe each and every one of them has the grit to make it out of their current conditions, but even more importantly, I think each one wants to have more from their lives. Sigh, my babies are growing up!

            

             Not only did I have to leave the kiddos, I had to say adios to my girl Gabby. I’m suppose to be going to a new project and she is heading home this Saturday. While she will be going home for sure, I’ve been faced again with the unprofessionalism of my director. He has been telling me for the last 2 weeks that I would be going to Darmshala, however, as soon as I sat in his car, he started talking about there being difficulties with me going, as well as program fees I was not aware of. I’m so frustrated and it’s only been 2 hours since I’ve left my other house. Apparently I have to pay the extra fees, the fare to get transported there and it’s not even been finalized for me to be there! He said that the program has too many volunteers going there, so he suggested yet again another project in a different town. Augh, I wish this program was better. I’m looking to see what connections I was given from Bowdoin people so that maybe I can just go work in Delhi. I have a month left and I would really like to be productive. Once I told him that there are possible projects for me via Bowdoin connections and that I want to work with women since it was the focus of my Global Citizen’s Grant, he started saying how he has programs in Delhi that work with women. Where was this when I first came? I told him from the start that that was what I signed up for and that my focus was women’s empowerment. This just doesn’t fit and it’s so unorganized. I’m going to do some research and see what the heck I’m going to do these last few weeks. I was having such an amazing time.